Have you ever found yourself comparing your life to others? Perhaps you see the highlight reel of the seemingly “perfect mom” on social media and feel like your life just doesn’t measure up.
As Christian moms, we often feel the pressure to be the perfect mom and have it all together. We see the highlight reels of other moms on social media, and we compare ourselves, feeling inadequate and like we don’t measure up. But the truth is, none of us are perfect, and that’s okay! God created us to be unique individuals, with our strengths and weaknesses, and He loves us just the way we are. We don’t need to strive for perfection because we already have the perfect love of our Heavenly Father.
Breaking the Perfect Mom Stereotype
Breaking the perfect mom stereotype starts with being honest about our imperfections and embracing them as part of our journey. We need to let go of the unrealistic expectations we place on ourselves and others, and instead, focus on being authentic and vulnerable and becoming MOM STRONG. As we open up about our struggles and share our stories, we create a community of support and encouragement, where we can grow and learn together. Let’s embrace our imperfections and find freedom in the grace of God.
This temptation of comparison or a sense of feeling like we are missing something goes back to Adam and Eve. Even in the perfect setting of the Garden of Eden, they still felt the need for something more. Even in the Garden of Eden, they believed they were missing something.
Satan tormented them with lies about themselves and God, and they fell for it. After comparing their situation to Satan’s lies, they decided that life in the garden was not as great as they had thought it to be. Because of this, they acted impulsively and broke the only commandment God had given them, which was to NOT eat the fruit of one particular tree in the garden.
As moms, it’s natural for us to compare ourselves to others and feel dissatisfied with what we have, but we must remember that these thoughts don’t align with God’s truth and plan for us. The pressure to have a perfect life comes from the unrealistic standards we see in social media today. However, the perfect house, perfect kids, perfect body, and the perfect husband just isn’t realistic. And when we compare ourselves to these unrealistic ideals, we become discontent with our real lives.
POV: As I type this, it’s 3 am. and I cannot sleep, again. Menopause is trying to kick my butt. I’ve had night sweats off and on for a few years, but now I’m hit with a whole nother crazy, HOT FLASHES! The change has already put a few extra pounds on me and my mommy brain is out of control. I could’ve laid in bed for a couple more hours allowing the enemy to fill my thoughts with his lies and discontentment, but here I am writing this post for you.
We do not have to live in this discontentment. We can find freedom in authenticity. We can embrace our real houses, real kids, real bodies, and real husbands. We can let go of the need for perfection and instead focus on being the best version of ourselves.
Motherhood can be a challenging journey, and while some moms feel confident in their abilities due to prior experience, others struggle with insecurity and doubt. Insecurity arises when we believe the negative self-talk tells us that we are not good enough. It is also linked to fear, which often paralyzes us with the “what ifs” of life. However, confidence is the key to unlocking the chains of insecurity. It is about believing in what God can do through us, not just in ourselves.
Jeremiah 17:7 says, blessed is the man that trusteth in the LORD, and whose hope the LORD is.
True confidence is “God-confidence.” It is about recognizing our divine design and finding contentment in being who we are, imperfections and all. When we celebrate who God made us to be, we can move from insecurity to confidence, which is freedom in who we are. By taking our eyes off ourselves and putting them on God, we can be equipped with whatever we need for the relationships and responsibilities given to us.
Have you ever felt like the “Angry Mommy Monster” is taking over your household? When this happens, a mother’s anger can affect the entire family. I realized that I had been experiencing this more often than I was comfortable with. Upon reflection, I discovered that my unrealistic expectations were a major contributing factor. I had not been accurately estimating my kid’s abilities and was expecting too much too soon.
Every wise woman buildeth her house: But the foolish plucketh it down with her hands. -Proverbs 14:1
Recently, I saw a mom going through the same experience. She was becoming increasingly frustrated with her four-year-old son’s behavior. He was constantly bouncing around and talking loudly, which was causing chaos in the house. The mom was struggling to keep up with him and was exhausted by the end of each day. Upon closer inspection, she realized that she had been expecting her son to behave like a calm, well-behaved adult. She wasn’t taking into account that he was still just a young child, full of energy and excitement. Once she lowered her expectations and accepted that he was behaving normally for his age, she found it easier to manage his behavior and her own emotions.
Love More Like Jesus
Love is a term that we use in our everyday language to express our preferences and desires. We love movies, we love ice cream, and we love meeting new people. However, the love that God has for us goes far beyond our human understanding of the term. His love is perfect, unchanging, and unconditional. It is a love that we have a lot to learn from, even in our best moments.
God’s love is unchanging, meaning that it doesn’t fluctuate depending on our actions or behavior. In contrast, human relationships are often influenced by our feelings and emotions. For instance, we may say that we love someone, but we don’t like them at the moment. But God never says that about us. His love for us is perfect, and it doesn’t change, even when we have a bad day or make mistakes. Furthermore, God’s love is unconditional. We don’t have to earn His love by meeting certain conditions or standards. God loves us regardless of our successes or failures.
Embrace “Being Perfected” Instead of Trying to be the “Perfect Mom”
Despite our shortcomings, God believes in us and sees us for who we can become, rather than who we are right now. His love is undeserved, which is what makes it a perfect love. Let us embrace “being perfected” as we learn to love more like Jesus each day. While we may never attain the same level of perfection in our love as God, we can strive to love unconditionally and unchanged, as He does.
Unhealthy mom comparison, insecurity, unrealistic expectations, and imperfect love are all struggles that we face as human beings, in relationships, and certainly in motherhood. But we don’t have to be trapped by these negative emotions and experiences and feel we need to be a perfect mom. Through God-confidence, realistic expectations, and unconditional love, we can break free from these chains and find true freedom in authenticity.
Remember, God loves us just the way we are, imperfections and all. Let’s strive to love ourselves and others the way God loves us, and to be the best version of ourselves that we can be. May God’s love and grace continue to guide us on our journey toward becoming the people He created us to be.
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Forest Rose is a God Loving, Blessed Wife, & Mama to 3 girls. She’s passionate about lifting moms out of the trenches that are discouraged, overwhelmed, or feeling alone or isolated. Her hope is to point them to Christ and equip them to rise up with a newfound hope and joy within, that He alone can provide. Besides blogging, she also loves to create printables!