As Mothers, we can all relate to the importance of building self-esteem in our girls. We have to be diligent to take every single opportunity to let them know how special God has created them to be.
Not sure if your daughter is battling with thoughts of insecurity within?
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Here are three signs that your daughter is battling insecurity
1 – Negativity
Whenever your daughter has something negative to say that is a sign that the enemy is trying to grip her with his lies. He is whispering things to your child and telling them they will never be prettier than so and so. He masks the way they see themselves until they can no longer see how truly beautiful they are.
2 – They won’t want to talk to someone new.
If they are shying away from leaving your side or not wanting to go play on the playground with someone new, this comes out of not feeling good enough or worrying about what others may think of them.
3 – Irrational fear or anger.
Do you ever feel like your daughter is mad at the world? Well she just might be, she may see everyone else as prettier than her, better than her, has better clothes than her and she may be angry about it. In a day and age of Snapchat and Instagram, there is a filter for everything. The filter you so much that you can’t even stand to take a picture of yourself without a filter anymore. It’s insane!
Chances are you have experiences 1 or all of these things. So. Have. I.
It’s tough!
“You are altogether beautiful, my love; there is no flaw in you.” -Song of Solomon 4:7
It was tough when my daughter was 3 and she said she wasn’t pretty…
It tore me apart when my youngest was 7 and was already comparing herself to other little girls…
It completed destroyed me when my oldest daughter, now 13 refuses to even let me take a picture of her because she hates the way her nose looks on camera.
As a child I was always picked on and treated badly. I believed that I was ugly and no one could ever truly love me. My name was weird(Forest Rose) I wore big thick brown glasses (thanks mom) My hair was unruly, you know curly & straight all in one, every piece of hair going in a different direction.
So at a very early age I had a skewed self image of myself, which still to this day hovers over me. It doesn’t grip me as much as it used to now that I know that God created me to be ME and no one else can ever be me.
So how do I begin building my daughters’ self-esteem?
1 – Let them know DAILY how much God loves them.
It is crucial to let them know daily that God loves them, He has made them perfect and they are the most beautiful little lady ever! I tell my girls all the time this… You know how much I love you right? I love you with all that I am, but all that I am can not love perfectly…but God LOVES perfectly! He loves you a million times more than I love you or you love me.
Imagine that for just a second! Being loved completely, perfectly without any shadow of a doubt. It’s really hard for our minds to even comprehend it, right?!
For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. -Psalm 139:13-14
2 – Focusing not only on outwardly beauty, but the beauty from within.
Train them in good habits and character. Teach them to be kind and gentle and they will know nothing else.
The bible tells us that God looks at the heart of a man in 1 Samuel 16:7.
He also tells us in 1 Peter 3:3-4 Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious.
So important for our little girls to believe this without a shadow of a doubt. If our daughters know and love who they are within, who God created them to be, they will not easily fall for an attack of the enemy on their outward appearance.
3- Let them wear what they want (mostly)
If they like to wear silly hats or colors that you aren’t used to, let them. Let them find their own sense of style even if they go through a stage of style you really don’t like. Sometimes we just have to let them wear two different socks or a giant fuzzy bow that makes them feel good.
All three of my daughters from age 8-10 wore some weird stuff, I’ve made the mistake of not always letting the stage run its course.
My oldest went through a back hat stage…everyday she wore a hat backwards and it drove me bonkers. She had recently gotten into basketball and wanted to look sporty to fit the part of an athlete. We laugh about it today, but boy it was tough going through it.
But what I realize now was that she was just wearing what made her comfortable at the time. She was still trying to find herself and that’s okay.
They are Precious in God’s Sight
“Because you are precious in my eyes, and honored, and I love you…” -Isaiah 43:4
I love to know that I am precious in God’s sight and I want my girls, all three of them, to know they are too, no matter what anyone else thinks of them! I want them to know that beauty starts and exudes from the inside. This begins, of course, with a relationship with Jesus. There is just something beautiful about a person that is completely renewed & their spirit is awakened by Jesus. Spending time with Jesus makes you beautiful…yep it’s true.
With media, magazines, and friends telling them they have to look a certain way or dress a certain way, we have to make sure we are allowing the truth of beauty in God’s eyes to speak louder to them than these. Tell them they are beautiful, talk openly with them about the blindness of this world, speak these scriptures over them daily.
Please don’t think for a second that they are not being attacked in this way, just because you haven’t seen any signs of it yet. They may just be hiding it from you or internalizing it. As a little girl this was an unspoken torment in my life that no one else knew.
I urge you to look deeper and begin praying God’s promises over them before it rears its ugly head. Unfortunately this is something that surely every little girl with face at some point, but let us be prepared to battle. When our kids are young satan is trying to get a grip on their little lives before they are strong enough to even know what has hit them.
Fight momma! Fight for your beautiful little girl to know that she is FEARFULLY and WONDERFULLY MADE!
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Forest Rose is a God Loving, Blessed Wife, & Mama to 3 girls. She’s passionate about lifting moms out of the trenches that are discouraged, overwhelmed, or feeling alone or isolated. Her hope is to point them to Christ and equip them to rise up with a newfound hope and joy within, that He alone can provide. Besides blogging, she also loves to create printables!
This is my first time to visit your site. Before I even read the post, I thought, “Forest Rose. What a gorgeous name!” I’m so sorry you grew up feeling it was weird. I love the Scriptures you included in this post. What a great challenge for us moms with daughters.
–Gena
Thanks for the visit Gena! I have grown to love my name over the years, but it was a tough road through school for sure. We are truly challenged and blessed all at once! Thank goodness we have God on our side!
Great reminder. I don’t see my daughters struggling in this area but your reminder to watch for it and build them up as beautiful young women is important.
So glad you stopped by Briana! Yes it truly is so important to build them up!
Thanks for your post,my 15 year old daughter saw a pic of one of my friends, daughter on facebook where she ask we must vote for her for Miss South Africa teen and she said she wish she was as beautifull as my friends daughter, and I was so sad and shockhed, I did not realise she see herself as not beautiful,
Your welcome Vicky! This is truly a sad thing and seems to grow worse as times change. It’s time for us moms to become aware of this epidemic & stop the seed in our little girls before it is planted.